a surfacing light

Dance like an Oompa Loompa!

"Champ Candies Truck" - Somis Nut House - Christmas 2008,                          ©Tad GIelow Photography

I hope everyone had a holiday season filled with twinkle lights, candy canes and a lot of love.  Abby, Zoë and I had big plans to add more origami to our Christmas tree, adding to the cranes and butterflies we made last year.  We picked out some beautiful paper at Paper Source, but everything got put on hold with the somewhat unexpected and very sad passing of my older brother from cancer on December 23  - he’d been sick, but was expected to come home for Christmas.  A few days later, on December 28, an older family member passed on my husband’s side.  Add one very pregnant niece and you have a very busy couple of weeks culminating in two funerals and a baby shower last weekend.

All in all, in the midst of all the holiday hoopla, life seemed very draining and tiring, but now it's time to continue on and start the new year with some joy. Best thing for renewal?  Laughter, and maybe even a little dancing.  My daughter sent me this youtube link, "The Evolution of Dance" and within ten seconds, not only were we dancing, but we were howling with laughter.  Enjoy – and be sure to look for the Oompa Loompa dance!  

You tube:   "The Evolution of Dance" 

View from our front door - Christmas morning, 2008

Breathe

"BREATHE" - Valenzuela, 2008  (Ink & Colored pencil, drawn at R. Moacanin's "Enchanted April" in Palm Springs.) 

I promised myself I wouldn't look at the news today, but it's not even 7:30 am and I've been online at cnn.com and Foxnews.com twice.  (I like to be fair and read both sides!)    How I wish this election were already over…It's really adding to the fear and panic already shaking our core due to this financial and economic crisis.

My suggestion is to find 10 seconds that you can do with whatever you want.  No matter how busy we are, asking for 10 seconds for ourselves isn't asking for that much.  

When you have approximately 10 seconds or so to call your own, close your eyes, inhale deeply, and hold your breath for as long as you can.   As you hold your breath, see a beautiful light flow down through the top of your head.  The color of the light will be the EXACT color that you need in your life RIGHT NOW to manifest healing, abundance, joy and all manner of wonderful things.  Let the light flow throughout your entire body.  As you exhale, see the light flowing out into the world, manifesting healing, abundance and prosperity for all beings everywhere.  Repeat as often as you can.  

Okay, I feel better now!  Now we can get back to the important stuff–knitting and making soup.

It was cool enough this weekend to cook and Tad made Albondigas soup–chock full of meatballs, rice and FLAVOR!   We usually make it as a traditional holiday dish, but we needed a lift this weekend and there's something about a good pot of soup simmering away on the stove that soothes the soul.  Sooo delicious!  If you're interested, remind me to post his recipe.  By the way, I LOVE all the emails I get, but you can leave comments on the blog too if you don't mind other people reading what you say.   It's very safe and easy to do!

Here are a few pics of the knitting I mentioned in the last blog.  The red and blue hats below, (modeled by Zoë)  will go with a few others to "Operation Gratitude" for the troops:

Red Hat:  Bulky Acrylic,  CO 72 stitches. Size 10.5, 16" circular needles.  Tighter fitting on Zoë, she has the brim rolled up - (Approximately 1" ribbed brim = k1,p1 for 6 rounds,  Knit 30 stockinette rounds before decreasing.)

Blue Hat:  Worsted weight acrylic,  CO 80 stitches. Size 9, 16" circular needles.  Very big, loose hat on Zoë, she has the brim folded up-good for men's head size  (Approximately 1" ribbed brim = k2,p2 for 6 rounds,  Knit 32 stockinette rounds before decreasing.)

Interestingly, I like the red hat better, even though it was much easier to knit than the striped hat.  (I need to keep a journal of my knitting so that when I want to make the same thing again, I don't have to start all over from scratch!  Thus the little technical notes below the pics. Someday I'll start a proper knitting journal...I've handmade TWO and bought THREE and still haven't written anything down!)

My favorite set is below, mostly because of the different colored thumbs on the mitts–for some reason, those thumbs just make me happy.  (Yes, I'm easily amused...)  I'll keep this set because it's made out of wool and if gets thrown in the wash, the poor soldier who received it will have a tiny little set, maybe big enough to fit a four year old.  How disappointing would that be!  That's the thing about wool, it comes in the most beautiful colors but it needs to be hand washed in cold water and laid flat to dry.  Yes, I can certainly see some 20 something year old soldier in Iraq hand washing his or her hat...NOT! 

Colored Thumbs below:

Well, I'm off to work and maybe to make more soup!  Chicken and dumpling this time, I think.  It is much warmer today than it was this weekend, but maybe I'll just up the air conditioning and pretend it's Fall!

Remember, breathe in color and light and love and when you breathe out, you and all those around you will share in and be encompassed by the beauty, joy and abundance in your heart!

Little Bird

Journal Entry-Watercolor, Pen & Ink

If you could pick a superpower which would you pick? Would you have x-ray vision, the gift of flight, the ability to control the weather or to listen in on other people’s thoughts?

Abby, my oldest daughter would like to be able to fly. She’s a restless spirit and a confident soul and at night in her dreams, she flies places–just like she does in the day time–albeit during the day, she’s riding her bike and driving her truck, rather than skimming the clouds of dream with gossamer wings. She’s away at college now and we miss her so much I really do wish she could fly. Of course, knowing her, she’d probably jet over to Paris or New Zealand rather than fly back here to be with us in our little cottage.

As for me, I LOVE hearing people’s stories. My family tell me I would talk to walls if there was no one around to chat with and I think the perfect superpower would be invisibility–but not, as one might think, to eavesdrop on the stories and lives of others.

I think my yen for invisibility stems from enduring a painful, debilitating shyness after the death of my parents by car accident, on an Easter Sunday some forty odd years ago. I can still see a fragment of my four year old self staring at the face of the heartsick policeman who had the horrific job of telling a family of young children that they were now orphans. And, after a long, deep breath, I can still feel a jolt of fear, followed by a longing to melt away like that chocolate bunny I’d left in a messy puddle on the driveway that sunny Easter morning. After that day, it was difficult to make connections and I mumbled, red-faced and agonized, through just about every encounter that didn’t include a few close friends. This went on until I was about fifteen, when, while eating a soggy sandwich during another dull lunch period in the high school cafeteria, I glanced up and saw something that astonished me. I saw kids having fun! They were planning things like eating pizza in groups, going to parties, dating! I didn’t know the word “epiphany” at the time, but it was the proverbial light illuminating a dark room and I wanted to know about those kids–how did they live life with such ease? I forced myself to start talking and within months of that bulb going off over my head, I had alot more friends and I even had boyfriend–a real cute one who drove a classic ‘56 Chevy, complete with tail fins and the original pale yellow paint. (For those of you not in the know, original paint on a classic car is apparently a reason for celebration, although I’m not sure why.)

But it wasn’t just about a slice of high school popularity-the potency of that glance away from my egg salad sandwich reverberated through the rest of my life. By some sweet grace, I had discovered that when I was listening to others tell their stories and truly hearing what they were saying, I was no longer locked in my own mind, shy and embarrassed, a victim of my own mental process, a process that I had no idea how to control. In fact, I enjoyed those exchanges so much that it became a lifetime habit to seek them out–speaking as deeply as possible to the waiter, the cashier, the teacher–whomever I happened to be in contact with, and each and every time I do, I am astonished at how surprised and yet somehow pleased they are that someone has asked them, completely out of the blue, about their lives, dreams and goals.

So, as much as I would like to fly, have super strength or x-ray vision, I think there is still a part of me that aches for that broken hearted little girl who would have liked to disappear. My journal drawing “Little Bird” expresses her desire for invisibility and also the blessing of communication that shyness gave to the woman she became, because as I am still learning to this day, the ability to talk deeply and truly hear others is a superpower.

So what’s your secret superpower? Don’t be shy! Tell your story, share your superpower, the one you have and the one you dream of–you know I’m interested.

The Evolving Heart

Desert Heart Rock

Home Heart Rock

It's Valentine's Day, one of those happy, syrupy holidays that exists as a celebration for those lucky enough to have someone to celebrate with and as something of a challenge for those who don't. I like Valentine's day–mostly I like the candy and I find that even as an adult, I am particularly partial to the colorful little candy hearts boldly emblazoned with sayings like "be mine". I also love finding evidence of Valentine's day in the natural world because here is both scientific evidence and poetic metaphor for the evolution of the spiritual heart we all possess.

Many say the heart grows as we evolve spiritually, but I think it's the opposite. Like the heart shaped rocks I find that have been shaped by storm, heat and cold, our hearts are shaped by the weather life throws at us–challenging us to lighten our loads by dropping the preconceptions, expectations and craziness that we place on others and ourselves. Life sands down the bulk and smooths the edges into the perfect shape for this exact moment–and then it changes again. Even broken and charred as in the lovely quote below, our hearts heal–and eventually, when we figure out that giving away unconditional love, that kind of Love we feel when do something wonderful for someone and expect nothing back, is what we're here for–we end up with a heart shaped space that is filled with Spirit.

Journal Entry: Quote & Candy Wrappers

Desert Heart Rock resides in Joshua Tree where I photographed it last Christmas, baking happily in the early morning sunlight. It still sits by the trail side facing the harsh challenges of the desert weather and is evolving much faster than Heart Rock. Home Heart Rock lives with our family, and content in it's home on our book shelf, evolves a little more slowly right now. Either way, both ARE evolving, each in their own way.

Well, I think it's time we all eat some candy! Happy Valentine's Day!